So the last two weeks or so I have been experiencing what one may call a broken heart. It has been very interesting for me because usually a guy and I break up and I am upset but I do not continue contact with that person for a little while or they at least do not talk to me right away. With this relationship, the guy has continued to call me, text me, im me and message me even after breaking up with me. He started to say how he missed me and how he messed up.
So yah, it is great he realizes that he messed up but what is he going to do about it? I feel as if the last two weeks he has spent more time telling he misses me and how he wants me back rather then showing me that he misses me or wants me back. As my mom says it is not what they say it is what they do.
Last wednesday I decided I would put some effort into making it work so I went over to his place and met his two roommates who are girls. They are so sweet and awesome. I had a great time but it was so so hard to see him and I was so afraid just to fall back into things. He was drunk seeing as though they were having a little party and we ended up kissing, just a peck and he murmured something and looked frustrated. When I asked what was wrong he said ” i just miss you ” – translation into boy language ->>>> “I really really wish we could just make out” Thankfully I have some sort of control over myself and did not let that occur. But I left that night missing him even more and wondering if I should just jump back into things.
I have not seen him since last wednesday because I had to go home for my sister-in-law’s baby shower – which was a blastttt by the way! SO CUTE! –
This monday we were supposed to hang out. He asked me to come over but I hadn’t been home that much so I asked him if he wanted to come over to my house at school while I unpacked. He said yah, just let me know if you are up for it! So I told him I was home and he said you are coming over. I couldn’t believe my ears. When I called him – long story short – he said that he was in bed, wanted me to come over, didn’t listen to a word I had said before, oh and get this: he didn’t want to lose his parking spot….
Basically what this means is a parking spot was more important then getting me back.
All this really really hurt and I sort of lost it monday night. I blasted Hot ‘N Cold by Katy Perry as high as it could go on my speakers and ran around the house. My roommate was a little bit nervous and decided it would be best if we got out of the house. He drove me to Tim Hortons and let me vent and vent in the car. When I got back home the guy had messaged me telling me he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore. He knows that if we date it will end bad and I’ll get hurt again and that he’s an asshole. Then he proceeded to ask me to go out with him and his friends tonight…
Honestly?! Like what?! Mixed signals are one of the worst things you can give to someone I think. The last 2 and a half weeks I have spent wondering does this mean we are getting together again? Or are we just friends? Or….
So to all of you out there reading this – next time you feel down and are wondering whether that person wants you or not. If the person you are with is not making it clear they want to be with you, if they keep you guessing – then maybe just maybe, you deserve something so much better. You deserve someone who will make it SO clear that they want you, need you, that you never ever will have to think twice about it. And if, iffff you do end up second-guessing yourself the person you are with will stop those thoughts from occurring and let you know how much you mean to them. They will not be stopped from coming over and making things work because they do not want to lose their precious parking spot on the street.
I am trying so hard to just learn this and remember that I deserve better so if you are thinking well maybe they deserve another chance…I mean they just messed up! Think about how much pain you have been put through being strung along, never knowing where your relationship is going and giving that person all the power. Stick up for yourself. You deserve to know where your relationship is going and what that person wants in return.
I plan on going out with my girls tomorrow night and feeling fabulous and not letting the fact that I’ve been let go, twice, by the same guy, in a matter of three weeks. It hurts like hell, fricken a, does it hurt like hell! But you know what? It’s nothing a great top, fabulous pair of shoes, kick ass pair of jeans, and a nice cold beer with my girlfriends won’t take care of.
Smile. You’re wonderful.
Alright…I’m going to go watch When Harry Met Sally and sulk on my bed…. – Hey, I said I’d start trying to feel better tomorrow! 🙂
The Truth According to Evelyn 
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