Alright so here is the deal. I have not written on here in what like 3 months? Yah, I apologize but honestly I’ve just been all over the map. Life has been a bit crazy dealing with all of the things I had talked about earlier and now that 2009 is here I need to make a big change.
Let’s talk about how 2009 started out…
January 1st, 2009—-
12:00 AM : “HAPPY NEW YEAR” I shouted with a bunch of my friends at my best friend from high school’s (Ann) house. We were all pleasantly buzzed and generally happy to be around each other and feeling good about things. I then spent the next 4 or so hours stumbling around Allen with them smiling, crying, experiencing a range of emotions that one can only call drunkeness.
9:30 AM : My phone rings and I jump out of bed hearing my mother’s ringtone from Buffy The Musical and yes, I am still drunk. This is the classic phone call I receive almost every morning after my mom knows I went out to make sure that I am alive. It usually goes like this…
Mom: Hey Brie!
Mom: OOooo…you sound good!
Mom: Just making sure you are ok!
Me: Yep. I am alive. barely. call you when I wake up.
Mom: OK LOVE YOU
Me: yep. love you.
Honestly I’m buzzed when I answer this phone call so it’s a wonder I can say anything at all!
1:00 PM: I wake up. I do not feel as good as I felt when my mom called me. Actually, I feel as if I have been constantly smacked in the forehead with a 2X4 for the last six hours and then dragged through the forest, naked, by tweezers, over razorblades. I am not exaggerating. I feel like death is coming upon me. I am going to only experience 11 hours of 2009 and they weren’t even anything special! How can this be?! I take some Alka Seltzer, and pray I’ll feel better in about five hours.
5:34 PM: I wake up again. Oh shit, I feel even worse. I just need to throw up. Just let me throw up. Pleaseeeeeeee. I run to the bathroom and pray that none of my other housemates are home and just sit by the toilet. I’m not the type of person who can make herself throw up easily but I try and try and unfortunately nothing comes up. I decide I should eat something ( BAD BADDDD IDEA BRIELLE! ). I grab some Teddy Grahams. I mean honestly, they are little graham crackers shaped like Teddy Bears…they can’t be that bad.
6:00 PM: WRONG. WRONGGG. Those little Teddy Bears are the Teddy Bears of death and I am now in bed clutching my stomach. Bathroom. Throw up please. I cough up a little bit of water and some teddy grahams and ew. ew. ewwww. Helpppp.
8:30 PM: I have just watched two episodes of Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations and although I feel better about the fact that I have now found a new favorite show I still feel as if I am dying. I text my mom : I have never felt this horrible in my life. She calls and asks if I want her and my dad to come get me. I start crying and I feel like a little kid sick at school. I want to go home and be amongst my eight, well seven cats since mac was in the hospital, and my three dogs. I want my mommy to tuck me in and my daddy to get me some alka seltzer.
9:30PM: My parents show up. My dad drives my car back while my mom drives the other car and I go with her. I’m in the front seat: sweatpants, hoodie, jacket, gloves, and a bucket in my lap. (Um…how awesome are my parents?) I turn to my mom and say “Why can’t I just throw up!?!?”
9:33 PM: Throwing up. Yep. In the bucket…in the front seat of the car…next to my mom.
9:45 PM: Never. eating. Teddy. Grahams. Again. I stumble home and Ellie, our 6 and a half month old puppy welcomes me home by jumping all over me and eventually curling right up next to me in bed. Sleep. Please let me sleep. My mom tucks me in and my dad brings me alka seltzer and I am so happy to be home.
January 2nd, 2009 – Long story…short. My dad and I attempt a trip to Chestnut Ridge with our Bihr’s sandwiches and immediately turn around when we see all the little kiddies sledding down the hill. Anti-social? Maybe. Not in the mood for screaming? YES. We go to the living room, eat our glorious sandwiches and talk about life.
One hour later…I am in serious pain and curl up on the couch with my buddy Ellie and realize that I will indeed not be able to eat for at least another night. This makes me depressed as I really would love to eat some food since I start my diet on sunday…or well maybe monday now… I spend the rest of Friday moping around the house feeling as hungover as I would feel if I had spent the night before pounding down a few…yet it has been 2 days since I have touched a drop of that damn alcohol. I watch another episode of No Reservations and an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and go to bed hoping I’ll wake up hangover free!
January 3rd, 2009 – success. I have eaten a few chips and half a cookie today and I feel fabulous! I’m a new woman! Life is great! TAKE THAT 2009!
Ok so not really : I actually have spent the earlier part of today moping around and generally just down about life but it’s 2009. It is time to get involved, to meet more people and to stop talking about everything I want and to start working on it. I want to lost 15 lbs so I am going to. I am not going to mess around with it. I am going to work out and enjoy working out. Now, this is not to say I won’t enjoy some chicken fingers or some ice cream every so often but I will work my ass off in order to do so.
I need to have a better outlook on things. I know I do. I have wonderful parents who would do anything for me and a great cousin who also would do anything for me. Not to mention the three or so friends I could call for advice or just friendship. I can do this. I will get through this. I have to. I am stronger than this.
I’m going through ups and downs right now about my life because I feel alone. I do. But in all honesty, I just need to go out more, enjoy the people I have in my life and above all be happy about myself. I need to love myself before I can do anything else.
Oh and I am also going to start being the DD more. Honestly, after the last two days of the hangover from HELL – from the DEEP, DARKEST HELL – I can’t do it anymore. I mean in one hand i’m pissed b/c i’m 20, in college, why shouldn’t I be able to go out and have fun and not feel like death the next day? One Word: MONO. Yah mono from almost 2 years ago? Screw you. You effed up my partying ability!
whatever. dd’ing here I come!
Anyway this was probably the most pointless blog ever but I feel better now so hey, that’s good. Hope everyone had a fabulous New Years Eve and that 2009 is the best year yet! One can only hope!
Finally not hungover…and proud,
oh also my dad keeps complaining that I am spelling Yah, or Yea, or Yeah wrong…whatever. I’m going to spell it Yah and if I sound Yiddish, so what?! I’m ok with that! It’s a new year! So kiss it Dad! ( love you )